Author's Note: This is a poem I wrote about my mom being gone for almost 2 months now. I started working on it yesterday, which was kind of a downer day, so I wanted to write something sad. The form of this poem is kind of new for me, but I hope you enjoy it! P.S, check out my piece below this one, I'm trying out a new format, so see if you like it!
Texts, Calls
Words on screens
No footsteps of yours
Ringtones.
No, We
Half empty bed
No shoes in the hall
Space.
Sad, Sighs
Gathering dust
No car in the front
Shadows.
Wait, Wait
Hundreds of clocks
No releif to be found
Help.
This was really cool! The short lines made it really seem sad, which fit what you wanted to do. Good job!
ReplyDeleteSophie,
ReplyDeleteThis poem was very creative in its formatting. I liked how you took a different path of writing this and it really showed. Hope you have fun when your mom gets back!
This poem is so simple but it also has so much meaning to it. I loved this so much. Even though you haven't used this form before, it was really good.
ReplyDeleteI agree very much with Morgan. I felt the shorter lines also made the poem seem more sad, and even though it was depressing I still enjoyed. You should just quickly check over the last stanza, because you made a misspelling, and if that was on purpose disregard this last sentence. Great poem!
ReplyDeleteI really liked this it definitely was depressing how you wanted it to be. I agree with what everyone said about the shorter lines helping you out saying that it was really sad. I really loved this!
ReplyDeleteThis was a great poem, and like the others said it definitely captured the feeling that you wanted it to. I really like the way you made the lines end abruptly, because that also helped to add to this effect. Nice job!
ReplyDeleteThe way you controlled the poem is excellent. Thanks to the author's note, I could see exactly what you did. I love it, and the way you used those components found in music. I' ll miss your writing!
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