Author's Note: This is a poem I wrote to get something new on my blog, since Mr. Johnson was nagging us about it for a couple days. I got the inspiration for this piece from writers block, and had been wanting to write something about it for a while now, so it felt good to get it out. I haven't done something of this format ever, so that is a little experimental, and I ended very abruptly, which felt weird at first, but it really works well with this poem. Enjoy!
A wall.
Your cage--
You try to lock me in.
My breath--
It fades.
Too close to my own skin.
I see no light--
My world is gone.
Your tricks have been well played.
You blur the lines--
Of right and wrong
The edges become frayed.
One more time--
I try to shout.
To get me out of here.
The walls--
They shake, crumble and fall
The outside world is clear.
I like this poem a lot, especially the inspiration. I liked your format a lot, you did a really good job with it even if it was your first time doing it. Nice job sophia!
ReplyDeleteI really like this poem. The inspiration is interesting. Reading it without the authors note I would have defiantly thought it was about something completely different. I like it-- you should try more like it. Maybe rhyming? Great job Sophie! :)
ReplyDeleteSorry for having to remove that comment Sophie, what I said hadn't really been what I was trying to say. What I had wanted to say was, I really like this post a lot. As you know, I am very familiar with the topic of this poem and know what it feels like to not be able to produce idea, and how frustrating that can be. I liked your closed form on this too as well as the metaphor of being caged in by your own thoughts. Lovely writing, Sophie:)
ReplyDeleteI do love the use of sound here, and the way you use sparse lines, very economically introducing words. I may be particularly dumb, but I don't know specifically what this is about, so I was looking for some more concrete images to help me along. Now, I'm not saying it's a bad poem by any means, but it does read like a personal, private poem.
ReplyDeleteI really like this poem Sophie! I liked how you related this poem to something we can all relate to. Like Autumn said I liked your use of a closed form, and the formatting made it more interesting as well. You should definitely experiment more with this kind of formatting.
ReplyDeleteI thought the format really made sound airy and mysterious and it added to the effect that I think you wanted. Maybe it's just the fact that I'm not the greatest with metaphors but I didn't see the correlation to writers block. That's just me though and I really liked this piece.
ReplyDeleteI am not really sure why but I absolutely love this poem. The format that you used is so good the way it is I would change a thing. I also enjoyed reading you authors note. :)
ReplyDeleteI really liked the flow of this poem and the words you used to create the images. This might just be me, but the ending kind of confused me, but if it makes sense to you, leave it as is. Nice job.
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