Author's Note: This is my first poem that I have changed from a paragraph to a sophisticated layout, it makes the whole feel of it sound more mature and makes my voice comes out stronger
The storm sets in -
in the distance,
the light, present as much as
a flickering candle,
burns out as we look behind us
from the backseat.
Dry, barren land welcome us ahead,
goes as far as the eye can see,
without threatening to stop.
The road is the only thing that keeps us on course,
the bumpy, black, warm asphalt streches on and on,
battling the land as it twists and turns.
Bumps and cracks are just proof of its battle,
but it wears on, providing more than just
a segway of ideas,
emotions,
thoughts.
For it brings people together,
something the barren land around it
fails to accomplish.
Good job, Sophie. This was good how you used a lot of adjectives. It almost sounded like mine in a way.
ReplyDeleteI really liked that! I liked how you talked about the flickering candle. good job:)
ReplyDeleteOh, and I love the picture of you at the zoo:)
ReplyDeletehahahaha thank you :p
ReplyDeleteThis is really good. you were really descriptive and made something little seem huge. Great job :)
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ReplyDeleteThis is excellent. You're really descriptive making it feel as though your actually there. Good job!
ReplyDeleteThat was really good! I really like the last couple lines when you said the road brings people together. Nice job!
ReplyDeleteThis is an accomplished poem. The way you tie it togethe rin the end is excellent. I especially like the extended metaphor; you write in such a way that I ended up as reader, really wondering what you saw the road being. to get that sort of response from a reader is a high accomplishment. You definitely have a serious talent for poetry. Don't ever stop writing.
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